in the beginning...

TWO YEARS AGO...

Once upon a time there were two city girls who were down on their luck in love and believed that if they moved to a foreign land far, far away they would finally meet their tall, dark and handsome prince charming... how naive they were.

When Moss moved to the S.C, she spent her days in the sun at the beach. The future was bright for Moss, until she met Taylor at his gig. She was a sucker for xylophone players, and found his confidence (which she later discovered was cockiness) attractive.

Meanwhile, Jackie was a city girl, who left for the S.C following her heart... to later discover her lover’s heart lived in his groin. Fabio lacked substance yet radiated beauty – just ask him.

Moss and Jackie went on their merry way to create a life for themselves in this unknown land, and were destined to meet working for Cruella de Vil in fashion making coats out of innocent children. Moss and Jackie immediately hit it off over their dislike for children and attraction to pretty boys. Soon after this, Moss was heartbroken by Taylor who could not keep his snake in the cage and bonked half the S.C. Jackie decided to brighten Moss’ outlook on men by pairing her up with Skateboard P (a friend of the masculinely chiselled Fabio) to a charming charity ball. Was this Moss’ chance at meeting her true Prince Charming? Unfortunately pot heads didn’t rock her boat.


Meanwhile, Jackie was growing more and more into the woman she longed to be each day through her work of scalping children, but Fabio found greener pastures. Literally. Pot head.


Freshly single, Jackie and Moss were on the prowl, and with the help of the abundant night life on the S.C., it wasn’t long until Moss met Muscles. Muscles was vain but beautiful and was the perfect rebound for Moss... it lasted 3 weeks.

One day, Jackie took her pimped out Porsche down to her local mechanic for a check up – but it was Jackie who was in for service! Her incredibly sweet but plain mechanic lacked the skillz to keep Jackie entertained.

Soon after, Jackie has an epiphany that she could earn more money scalping children elsewhere on the S.C. As soon as she could, Moss moved to the new company to assist making leather coats out of soft, baby skin. At this new company, fellow co-worker Humpty Dumpty took a liking to Moss’ fit, youthful figure. He did not pursue Jackie as she did not remind him of the scantily-clad teenagers in the magazines he subscribed to. Moss successfully got him removed from the company for harassment. She then took a week off to emotionally recover at the beach. Jackie took this opportunity to score unrequired time off. You can imagine how that week went.

Moss was fortunate enough to have access to her parents S.C. Palace, where she held an intimate dinner with Jackie, Ken and Chad – these were far the prettiest of the pretty boys to date. Jackie half-arsed pursued King Ken until she got bored with his wash-board abs and mad skillz in the sac. Moss wondered why she never heard from Chad again – to later discover he also could not keep his snake in the cage. Poor long-term girlfriend of Chad heard of the news personally from Moss.

Oops – left one out. Moss had been seeing Zachary the servant – it was her little secret as she was ashamed of his low ranking in the social ladder. Over time, Moss discovered that Zachary had not only 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but FIVE other full time girls – including a prostitute. After this, Moss took some time out from men, and put her focus into work and buying a palace of her own.

Jackie had decided that men of her own age weren’t up to the job... and went in discovery of someone more ‘mature’. As he had two children of his own, this didn’t work well, as, Jackie was too tempted to scalp them, and refused to be their role model. She had to cut old man from her life, which resulted in Jackie being very confused about what age was too old, and what age was too young?

They decided to take a trip to the middle east, and met an Israeli who later illegally migrated to the S.C. Moss and Israeli became good friends, and Moss supported Israeli when he was heartbroken by a Chlamydia-ridden albino. Where Israeli came from, respect wasn’t practiced and Moss started to grow tired of this friendship. Israeli will remain a distant beach friend for now.

With numerous trips to distant land, and Moss turning to God for answers - Jackie and Moss are still lost for love and wish any women well with their previous mistakes. Will they every find their Prince Charming?

To be continued...